Mayor Morel

 I am starting a campaign. Perhaps we could all get together and vote this lovely mushroom into power. It seems to make as much sense as voting for some of the wannabees that are running for office these days.

Just think we would see the yellow morel at state functions, running on roads with the Olympic Torch, giving speeches and opening things like schools, hospitals and sports stadia.

Can’t be any worse than what’s there now

Scotland – huzzah!!!

WOW!!!

What a swell party…

Thursday again – one of my favourite days of the week. My job involves a lot of writing and typing. Today has been tough. My hypochondriac sensibilities aside, injuring fingers must be one of the most serious minor inconveniences (what’s that Sam – no I’m not talking about Senator Craig again but yes, he has been in a few conveniences in his time) known to mankind – it ranks up there with a rag nail or a sniffle.

My typing has been moderately incapacitated. If I was a chav I’d already have one of those blue disabled stickers for my car (why can’t you get them in Burberry blue). I need an electric scooter as well – although I am not quite fat enough for one of them yet.

Anyway, the only reason that I am writing tonight is to fill in the BI and splits index

BI (Right): trifle    BI (Left): chocolate mousse

Splits index: 56 deg

Just one of those things

Hello peeps. I believe that you exist.

Can’t think of anything to write about so I will give you a bit of profound thought.

There, I’ve finished.

Another blogging landmark

155 hits – wow. Nearing nonanonimity.

Now that’s a good fabricated word. I must use that one again.

10 minutes

I’ve got ten minutes to write something so it will probably be a ramble.

Led Zeppelin are reforming with 3.5 of the original band members (if you count the Bonham genes in the standard way). I like a million others have registered in the hope of getting tickets. For me, it will be a long pilgrimage to London and ultimately I know I will be disappointed. I don’t even listen to Zep anymore, going to the point of skipping past in in my iTunes library, but I suppose I will make the journey trying to capture a moment that’s 30 years away and a lifetime ago.

I saw Jimmy Page when he toured with Paul Rogers in the Firm c. 1985 and it was good but not great. I heard from one of the roadies that this was due to Jimmy Page quaffing a bottle of Grouse before the end of the first half of the show.

If I travel from Texas to see the dinos in the O2 valley of the Gwangi tribute show, I hope they are sober enough to perform. I also hope that I am sober enough to listen. I probably wasn’t in 1985.

Ramble on.

It’s my brother’s birthday

He is 45. I am not.

Happy birthday to you Mr W.

They made me do it.

When I was a child a favorite phrase of my mum’s was “If your friends asked you to jump of a cliff, would you do it?” Of course, at the age of nine, with the all the forward-thinking talent of a looking down the barrel of a shotgun to see if there is a cartridge in the chamber, I would have jumped of anything if I thought that it might get a laugh.

I’m really amazed that the American justice system has the capability to accept renunciation of guilty pleas from anyone. I thought, in my niavety, that when you entered a guilty plea it meant that hmmm… you did it.

Apparently not true if you are a conservative senator (Sen Craig).

CBS News: Senator Craig to seek reversal of guilty plea

It’s sad. I hope the judge treats this clown the same way that I got treated when I used the “they made me do it” defence. I hope that he gets sent to bed with a spanked behind. On second thoughts – maybe that’s why he’s trying it.

One thing that America has is a surfeit of lawyers and politicians and perhaps it is time for one of them to gracefully retreat into the background. He has no integrity either way just now.

The weekendend

No it’s not a misprint. It’s the end of the weekend – the weekendend. What a weekend it has been – not remarkable in the slightest, infact, so little happened that I didn’t blog yesterday. I’m sure that you all (I know you don’t exist in the real world) missed the scintillating text that I produce. It is a pleasure to use this as a medium for venting my spleen sometimes. Other times it’s a real toil.

So what happened this weekend. Scotland won at football. The Dallas Cowboys won at football. Argentina won at football. All playing evolved forms of the same game and yet no real similarity between them. It is a metaphor for so much that is currently wrong with the world, people believe in evolved forms of the same god all over the world. They put each other to death because of it all the time. Strange really – actually, it’s more stupid than strange.

Oh, and I made lasagne – very nice it was too. Makes you fart though.

Peace!

Technorati

Lost a day

Hangovers are not a good thing. They are worse as you get older. I was out last night in town on a lad’s night out. We drank some beer, wine, beer, long island ice teas($2.50). I got home early. I didn’t drive. I got a lift back. Worth doing if you want to live without the life sapping guilt of a manslaughter charge hanging over you. Lots of Texans don’t seem to make that connection and will drive when they really are unfit to piss in a corner. Anyway, got home, slept on the sofa, went to bed, got up, drank propel water. Had painkillers, had anti acid, had antihistamine (probably couldn’t do any harm) and then walked around in a fuzz all day.

If you are expecting a revelation here about the cocktail of pills being an unexpected hangover cure – sorry, its 10pm and I feel worse than I did this morning.

I did manage to go to Macy’s today though and I was looking for some nice new clothes. The kind that wouldn’t make me feel my age. I was disappointed when the woman who worked there came up and said, “sir, this is the young man’s section” – customer 0 staff 1. Note to Macy’s, if you want the dollars don’t pass judgement on your customers.

I don’t have a new top, I have a hangover, I now look too old to be in the section of the store that I want to by clothes from. Next thing will be an artificial hip and an ear trumpet. An a life alert necklace. “Help, I’ve fallen over and I can’t get up”. If they market a life alert necklace with a connection to the GM OnStar network LifeAlert could be onto a winner in Texas.

Too drunk to work the remote for your car. Press one button on your necklace and OnStar can open the door, start your car, program the GPS and send you on your way. On second thoughts… that’s probably what the drunk drivers do here on a Friday anyway.

Happy Labor Day